For those of us lucky enough to have studied Buddhism, We realize that the natural state of being of enlightened beings is to live in a state of compassion. As long as men choose to ignore the fact that this is a desirable state, they wed themselves to their ego, and must still bear duality and sacrifice. When we give unconditional love to all, realizing that we are all one kaleidoscopic manifestation of Creator's love, we can begin to see things a bit more clearly. Beyond ego is a place that, once you know of it, you never want to leave. Oneness. A state of being so profound as to defy description.
My Fat Mary story applies here. When I was just a young child, my Dharma was compassion. My natural state was to think of others and act in ways that might serve their happiness and well-being. I felt the best when I did this. I had heard about Fat Mary and had resolved that, when Mom finally let me go down to that "other end of the block", I would stand in league with her and defend her, telling the other kids to be more kind to her and stop calling her that! My big day finally came. I rode my tricycle down to Fat Mary's house, where all the kids had gathered. I rode right up to Mary, positioning myself between her and the other children and said my piece about how mean they were to call her that. Her response was to poo poo me and my silly idea. "My Mom and Dad both call me that and that's my name, so why shouldn't they call me that?"
I had never considered that she might not have known to feel bad about being called fat. Perhaps she had never had anyone care enough about her to realize that they might not say it if they cared. I still always called her Mary, all the while I lived there, but sometimes she didn't answer. I think it put her on edge or something. I remember her stealing my bicycle and using it to run me over once. The girl was way too big for my high-wheeler trike (Well, it was a fast high wheel for me, I wasn't in kindergarten yet.)I wasn't about to tell her she couldn't ride it because she was fat. I told her that I didn't let anyone ride my bike, which was true. She got on anyway, so I grabbed the handlebars from the front, looking right at her. I said stop it, no one but me rides my bike, not even my sister! She just pushed on the pedals, running me over in the process.
When I fell down, I just remember the front wheel coming up between my legs, climbing up my body and off of my shoulder. I think her one foot and a pedal hit me in the cheek. I had no thought of her. I just knew that there had been an extreme injustice perpetrated against me, not my body, but who I was. I truly believed at this delicate age that, a person who tries to befriend someone should never be punished for it. Upon reflection, I thought that she held some sort of animosity toward me for bringing up the subject. On second thought, I figured that more likely she just wanted to ride my bike and that she was strong enough to ride over me if I tried to stop her.
I may never know what went on in Fat Mary's mind, or how, or if it played a part in the dramas of her life. I wonder from time to time, what ever happened to her, if she has found peace. I wish that I had known better words to say. She always seemed nice enough to me.
I pray for her to be blessed. It may sound odd, but I don't wish harm on anyone, just enlightenment. In my time I have seen millions of individual sequences of events that have led to bad feeling, bad blood, violence and dissolution. Most often the primary source is ignorance. That is why I got trained as a teacher, and why I feel the need to continue to learn things every day. Education is the second most expensive thing in the universe, the most expensive is ignorance.
Compassion is free, abundant and I urge everyone to cultivate a plot with Peace, Love and understanding. Once in a great while people will want to fight with you or harm you for their own reasons, but it can have no negative effect on the truly compassionate person. Please remember, often the most important person to forgive is our own self. You might not believe the level of hedonistic pleasure that can be derived from this ultimate selfishness. You may say,"Thinking of others, before yourself is by definition not selfish."
Oddly enough, it is not so. Anyone who thinks so has not yet tried it. The giver always gets back more than they have given. The best teacher always learns much more than their student and the person expressing their self-less Dharma will always benefit more than those that they help along the way. We always hear stories about those who have "saved" someone's life. Frankly, the way many of those people live, their lives were often not worth saving, instead of feeling that they have a second lease on life and going for it, they tend to be eviscerated with guilt,(the old, "Why me?" syndrome.)poisoned by toxic anger and depressive, wracked with torment and self-abuse. When we truly transcend ego, we qualitatively change our lives, miracles become possible and it opens the door to being able to give someone back their own Dharma. That is the best way I know to get a glimpse behind this fictitious "veil of tears" that many confuse with life.
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