Sunday, July 22, 2012

Forgiveness

The most moving story that I have heard that has come out of the Colorado shootings was not about facts and figures about the number of people shot, wounded or killed. I am ambivalent about whether or not the shooter's purchases should have been a warning to officials. I would feel much better if I could put the burden on some one or some thing that "went wrong" to allow such a tragedy to unfold, but within this difficult to fathom scenario, there is one ray of hope that has shown through. an enlightened being was in the audience for the showing of the ill fated movie that night. One who the newspapers tried to deem a hero, for throwing himself on a fellow patron to shield her from the spray of bullets that filled the movie theater just in time to save her.

The press is loathe to report the most important aspect of this event, the one that has the most power to change us for the better or create a more stable culture over time. As reporters clamoured, seeking the most outrageous slant on the terrible story, one man had the most important thing to say, but you probably will not see it on the nightly news or read it in your local paper. What the man wanted to make clear is that there is nothing heroic about doing what you can for others. Taking a bullet to save a stranger's life is not worthy of the term hero. I wish that I had heard the man's words myself, so that I could quote him exactly. He said that even feeling justified anger has no benefit for the world. We can all click our tongues and utter our dismay at the senseless and methodically planned execution of innocents, but the truly heroic act that is required of us all is to forgive.

Shot in the leg for his response to the attack, he may well have saved a life, but what he wanted us to understand is that the crippling hatred, judgement and angst that we may carry for the shooter is the most crippling disease of all. The power to ruin many more lives exists within us as we focus our hatred and judgement on the pitiful creature that pulled the trigger, booby-trapped his home and plotted the events of this past Friday. Those who forget that the most heroic act we can all take is to forgive may allow themselves to be consumed by anger, hemmed in by their own hostility and constrained by their rush to judgement, but for at least one man who has been shot, the true test of a hero is to forgive the perpetrator and get on with the healing that only forgiveness can provide.

We all have sores that have festered for years. I once met a woman who had pushed herself with such determination and vehemence that she wrested three doctoral degrees from some of the most highly acclaimed academic institutions of  our land, worked with such intensity to succeed that she made herself sick, only to realize that she was just on a quest to get her father to "love" her. If she had been taught the noble art of forgiveness, she could have lived a much simpler life and found a degree of happiness that no degree can afford. Proving that we are right seems easy when heinous crimes happen and we allow ourselves to claim the power of jury, judge and executioner, but in fact, these activities undermine us as much as they make us feel justified.

Hate, even when it seems justified and anger, even when it is based on valid reasons are the true enemy that we face daily. What we really need to detest is a system that allows a fellow with a degree in neuroscience to only be able to secure a job at McDonalds. What we should abhor is a "free market" in trading the tools of death. When I was a young adult, a female stalker threatened to kill me if I would not accept her "undying love". the city of Denver police told me that even though bulletproof vests were available in surplus stores, you needed a permit to purchase one. now, apparently, the shooter was able to get his without such a requirement. hundreds of pounds of ammunition and bomb making chemicals were delivered over a period of months, leaving a paper trail of intent to destroy, but everyone looked the other way.

These events are proof positive that there is no defense against a lone sociopath and we need to remember that we all created the scenario that led to a young man lashing out. then we need to forgive ourselves and ask what we could have done differently to affect a change in the world around us. For many, grace and enlightenment are the luxury of those who already have "it all", but the moment we are faced with a crisis, we slide back to the rhetoric of hate, the language of justified anger and the sword of "righteousness". After all, what better time to prove that we are "better people" when we can prove another to be inhumane, and deserving of our animosity. In the language of true heroes, forgiveness not only has the power to heal our own wounds, but the torment of others as well. The trials and tribulations that find us as we walk through life only have the power to cripple us if we let them. The discomforts and afflictions that are most heinous and despicable can easily prevent us from finding our higher self. Human history is replete with stories of vengeance and retribution, but the truest test of humankind is to confront these issues and to accept the full burden and responsibility for forgiving those who have done us wrong, however slight or intense their transgressions. If love is to flourish in the world, we need to understand the lightness of heart that true forgiveness holds for us all.

Many innocent loved ones have passed the veil at the hands of brutish men, but for those who loved them to be sucked up in a life-long vortex of hate and anger is an even greater tragedy. bless those who can find a way to forgive, for they are the true heroes. Think of what a world it would be if we simply honored this fact of life.

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