I recently watched an interesting movie called Gunless. It called into question the notion of who we are, not just as individuals, but as human beings. Yesterday, I had a conversation that relates to this concept with my beautiful spouse Nancy. Her intellectual ability, moral support and compassionate insight have helped me find my way through a number of crises and her reflection again helped me to find clarity on an issue that can be difficult for many. It has been said that since pre-history we have asked ourselves some of the same questions. Who am I and why am I here? The answer is both easier than many can imagine and more complex than we can fathom. What many often forget is the simplest fact, just because our mind can create a concept certainly cannot make that concept real or true. If we were to inject meaning onto an apple for instance, we could transform it in our minds eye to be a fruit of the devil, of love, of witchy power or perhaps even a symbol of knowledge. Although many have heard the creation story that Christians believe, the fruit of the tree of knowledge was not an apple, but that is beyond the realm of our discussion here.
I keep coming back to a single thought on the matter. Perhaps it is because I revere nature. Perhaps it is because I have tried to study the world around me so closely. One thing that I never question is my own curiosity, so perhaps that is a good place to start. If I were to say that humans are infinitely curious, I could immediately set out a long list of dullards who lack that basic trait. In my own experience, I can find hundreds of occasions where force was used to reign in my curiosity and yet it never left me. The journeys of some people have been different, I know, but could some trauma, abuse or neglect have vanquished what springs eternally within me? Whatever process has eliminated curiosity in some of my fellow human beings may befuddle me, but that is just part of my search for true self. Being raised in a home with two women, perhaps my self is more in accord with relationships than some others. I get many of my outward cues about who I am from the world around me and most of my time is spent around other human beings, so it would seem normal to look to them to find out who I am.
This "me", the one confirmed by reactions of others to the physical being that I put out into the world, that is not always my true self. For instance, society dictates that I wear clothing. My true self is not concerned with that convention. My family and friends know me as someone related, or who relates to them. My true self is not quite sure that either friends or family are even salient issues...let that sink in a bit. Who has not been guilty of defining themselves, at times, as the son of so-and-so or daughter of...? I, the true self that this particular organism has found, is related to all that is in ways that defy expression. Of course, my genetic make-up has been given to me for the most part by two individuals. On a very basic level I am the son of James Lee Saladino and Darlene Roseann Walker, but my genes have also been affected by the environment. My true self cannot be based on my progenitors any more than climate can be reliant on weather. What is thought of as us, our body is an effect, but as we all know, we humans are causal. My genetics do not make me create, I do this of my own accord.
You have seen this yourself, I am sure. The family-owned business that fails because the creative drive, the spark that grandfather had for whatever his business was may have been kindled within the father, but when the son inherits the company, it withers from lack of interest, or pure laziness. Who we are is far deeper than who sired us or whose womb we were carried in. Don't get me wrong, there is good research on parenting skills and child rearing that prove that much of how we turn out can be nurtured or squashed by the treatment of others, but even this cannot change who we truly are. This is like the artist, squeezing tubes of color to see how they look. We may have three purples in the box of paint, and even know which characteristics each one has, but if we do not uncap the tube, we cannot know the true color that lies within. Parents, mentors and friends, if we are lucky, massage the tubes, hold us as if we might be the one and affirm our "purpleness". They may "see" in us potential. They may help us to fit in in appropriate or inappropriate ways, but only we can know who we really are. When given the chance, only we can express that uniqueness by giving as directly as possible of our true self, not the perception.
When Nancy and I discussed this yesterday, it was in relation to a tree. It is a statuesque sugar maple that rises up out of the backyard. It was one of the first several generations of trees that were in our backyard nursery. Thousands of individual trees have spent a brief portion of their lives there, but this one got established, more out of neglect than intention. The plastic landscaping pot that held it has since been exploded away into shards. The tree wastes no time imagining what it could be, what it might be, who it wants to become. No, the energy it has expresses itself twenty-four hours per day, seven days per week, 365 days per year. The pot, which I would need a knife and some serious intention to cut poses no hindrance to the tree roots. Where I am awkwardly wrestling with the expression of true self, the tree knows to just do it. The point is that we are not what we think we are. The mind is only capable of putting labels on the outside of our "tubes". We have the power to be the artists of ourselves, uncapping the true nature of who we are and flowing through the masterpieces that have yet to be created.
Along the path to realizing my own true self, I have felt unimaginable love, agape love for all that is. I am, at once, the infinite love of Creator and the stardust from which I have been created. I am a resonant wave touching billions of human relations, many more billions of four legged creatures and hundreds of trillions of microorganisms. In my wake, I try to leave things better than when I found them and in my heart of hearts I know that without any one of my fellow crew members of Starship Earth, I would be slightly diminished. I cannot force anyone down the path that has led to my own insight or realization. I can however offer tools and techniques that worked for me. I am available for private consultation, just drop a line and we can "talk".
I keep coming back to a single thought on the matter. Perhaps it is because I revere nature. Perhaps it is because I have tried to study the world around me so closely. One thing that I never question is my own curiosity, so perhaps that is a good place to start. If I were to say that humans are infinitely curious, I could immediately set out a long list of dullards who lack that basic trait. In my own experience, I can find hundreds of occasions where force was used to reign in my curiosity and yet it never left me. The journeys of some people have been different, I know, but could some trauma, abuse or neglect have vanquished what springs eternally within me? Whatever process has eliminated curiosity in some of my fellow human beings may befuddle me, but that is just part of my search for true self. Being raised in a home with two women, perhaps my self is more in accord with relationships than some others. I get many of my outward cues about who I am from the world around me and most of my time is spent around other human beings, so it would seem normal to look to them to find out who I am.
This "me", the one confirmed by reactions of others to the physical being that I put out into the world, that is not always my true self. For instance, society dictates that I wear clothing. My true self is not concerned with that convention. My family and friends know me as someone related, or who relates to them. My true self is not quite sure that either friends or family are even salient issues...let that sink in a bit. Who has not been guilty of defining themselves, at times, as the son of so-and-so or daughter of...? I, the true self that this particular organism has found, is related to all that is in ways that defy expression. Of course, my genetic make-up has been given to me for the most part by two individuals. On a very basic level I am the son of James Lee Saladino and Darlene Roseann Walker, but my genes have also been affected by the environment. My true self cannot be based on my progenitors any more than climate can be reliant on weather. What is thought of as us, our body is an effect, but as we all know, we humans are causal. My genetics do not make me create, I do this of my own accord.
You have seen this yourself, I am sure. The family-owned business that fails because the creative drive, the spark that grandfather had for whatever his business was may have been kindled within the father, but when the son inherits the company, it withers from lack of interest, or pure laziness. Who we are is far deeper than who sired us or whose womb we were carried in. Don't get me wrong, there is good research on parenting skills and child rearing that prove that much of how we turn out can be nurtured or squashed by the treatment of others, but even this cannot change who we truly are. This is like the artist, squeezing tubes of color to see how they look. We may have three purples in the box of paint, and even know which characteristics each one has, but if we do not uncap the tube, we cannot know the true color that lies within. Parents, mentors and friends, if we are lucky, massage the tubes, hold us as if we might be the one and affirm our "purpleness". They may "see" in us potential. They may help us to fit in in appropriate or inappropriate ways, but only we can know who we really are. When given the chance, only we can express that uniqueness by giving as directly as possible of our true self, not the perception.
When Nancy and I discussed this yesterday, it was in relation to a tree. It is a statuesque sugar maple that rises up out of the backyard. It was one of the first several generations of trees that were in our backyard nursery. Thousands of individual trees have spent a brief portion of their lives there, but this one got established, more out of neglect than intention. The plastic landscaping pot that held it has since been exploded away into shards. The tree wastes no time imagining what it could be, what it might be, who it wants to become. No, the energy it has expresses itself twenty-four hours per day, seven days per week, 365 days per year. The pot, which I would need a knife and some serious intention to cut poses no hindrance to the tree roots. Where I am awkwardly wrestling with the expression of true self, the tree knows to just do it. The point is that we are not what we think we are. The mind is only capable of putting labels on the outside of our "tubes". We have the power to be the artists of ourselves, uncapping the true nature of who we are and flowing through the masterpieces that have yet to be created.
Along the path to realizing my own true self, I have felt unimaginable love, agape love for all that is. I am, at once, the infinite love of Creator and the stardust from which I have been created. I am a resonant wave touching billions of human relations, many more billions of four legged creatures and hundreds of trillions of microorganisms. In my wake, I try to leave things better than when I found them and in my heart of hearts I know that without any one of my fellow crew members of Starship Earth, I would be slightly diminished. I cannot force anyone down the path that has led to my own insight or realization. I can however offer tools and techniques that worked for me. I am available for private consultation, just drop a line and we can "talk".
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