My Birth Moon

Heather is a great friend and artist, her work appears here to point out the abundantly fertile nature of the Maiden, Mother, Crone. In this time of the thinning veil, we must say goodbye to many who have crossed over the river Styx, but we must also renew commitments to honor them in our daily choices. It is the Pagan New Year and as such, we can resolve to improve our lives, daily,  in the new year, relinquishing ties to what no longer serve us or our communities. We only have one freedom left, that is the freedom to choose what we will do next.

Long before I heard that "witches and pagans" celebrated their entire moon of birth, which was for me, during my college years, I had celebrated the entire moon of October. I really didn't have a full concept of either of those prejudicial terms, but I figured that if I had "tuned in" to a perspective inherent in the, message I received, witch and pagan could have been seen as pejorative. Vagaries of chance being what they are, perhaps it was just coincidence. The longer I attend to the issue, the more convinced I am that the derogatory tone taken by my informant, whilst teaching me that fact was because of her own limited perception, not the ways or beliefs, of those who were being taken out of context. Those of us that live by an Earthen Calendar are hopefully not bound by deceptive prejudices, eternal exploitation (like that of missionaries), those who would exploit us, nor the money-lenders who amass fortunes at the expense of others. We believe in relationship with all that is, not just what we have instruments calibrated to detect. I knew that, then, but had no words to capture the depth or breadth of my feeling that Mother Earth was alive, her stirrings were in me, as were those of Father Sun, (son) Sister Sky, Grandma Moon, and the ancient ones who light the night sky. We are one. We are stardust.

October has seen many of my most profound insights, the celebration of the cusp between Scorpio and Libra, for me takes on mythic proportion. As it should, perhaps, because my grandstanding nature and love for the stage are curiously tied to seeking balance and justice, if that is possible in this world. Just once, I would like to be listened to on the subject of Ecological awareness. As we defile our nest, the world, we sow the seeds of pain and mystery, taking lethal doses of carcinogenic, mutagenic and teratogenic substances, often without thought. The Day of the Dead, the Hallows Eve, Pagan New Year, Saturnalia, they all begin after the last harvest. This death of self, sustenance and surroundings has often led me into a learning or health crisis and ultimately to a more humble state, having had the life of eternity wash through me. It is always well to remember, the same noble gasses that waft into our lungs today are the exact same ones that dinosaurs breathed 60 million years ago. The oldest material on earth is about 4.4 billion years. In the arc of time, we humans occupy an infinitesimal small moment. 2000 generations or so.

Late summer yields to early fall in my hemisphere, The days shorten significantly, and thoughts of nesting create a frenetic pace. Like my friends, the squirrels, who are caching as many nuts as possible, I too am tying up loose ends on as many projects as I can, confounded daily as the darkness clamps down earlier each night. The balance point I have found, much to the chagrin of my teachers and elders, lies beyond the domain of capitalism, sexism or classism. I have lived the lives of many people, each one giving a unique perspective. The skeleton key of last harvest has unlocked fifty ways to be hollowed out, fifty times I have cycled through the season of death and honoring the ancestral homeland which we all inhabit eternally but for a brief moment in time, we are blessed with what we call "life".

It is at this time, that I consciously pare down, from the inside, like scraping out a pumpkin, loosing that which will birth the next generation. Hollowed out, however we feel it, (whether by loss, deprivation, depression or death of a feeling of "self") we become a more empty vessel for holding the wealth of the aeons. Some might classify it as the love of god, but there again is a limitation I am not comfortable with. I like to call the experience "Be-ing all that is." What my friend misplaced by definition was the "witch" terminology. What he meant had been contaminated by centuries of hate and fear, what I knew to be true circumvents anger and oppression. If I was born a pagan, how can someone tell me that their limits on eternity are suited for me? Along with that limitation, I would have to give up the infinite now and I cannot abide others trying to dissuade me from honoring the sanctity of the Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit which connects all beings.

I, the man who honors the beasts who become one with my flesh? The "I", who takes the stance that it is my responsibility to the organisms that serve my purposes be as comfortable and abundant as possible? "I", the being that is truly aware of Be-ing Stardust, arranged just so, to be miraculous? What of the human being who is self aware and infinitely humbled by being in touch with their chick side, but also has the experience of fathering several amazing children? Grandfather now, experiencing the stark reality of be-ing over halfway to 100. This transient "I" is not limited by any of the experiences that typically get used to describe our true self. It is beyond borders of experience, and multi-faceted. "I", defies even description by my available intellect, I am truly more than even that. Often in ways that, although explored to my fullest potential seem full of evermore possibility and potential. I'm just not sure how they connect to my future understanding. (yet.)

Each time I come through a learning opportunity, each time I recalibrate my awareness, I find that part of me thinks that this is the reality I will be confronted with forever, then things begin to shift and areas newly illuminated, become more clear that had existed behind a shroud. Like the idea of a sailing ship to the earliest humans confronting their first oppressors. They could not know what future awaited them. There are those among us who will forever learn and change their perspective. Some feel more comfortable knowing only one true thing, disbelieving all else. I beg the people of the world to begin to piece together a new way of thinking, of being and of relating what it is that we see, staring coldly into our eyes. Re-thinking what is plausible under the constraints of modern times, has to take center stage in political debate, in social justice circles, in the world religions and amongst the proud pagans who have been here all along. Our freedom ends where the next person's nose begins. When we reach out, into community, we always want it to be from a place of love.

My regular readers know that I often say, "Ultimate freedom requires infinite responsibility." The infinite abundance of the planet relies on the ability of each of us to interface with our ecological niche  as gracefully as possible. Building, throughout October I feel my blood run through the ages, perhaps my own soul links with many of the old souls who have learned far more than I ever will, but for moments and weeks I cultivate relationship with the elders who brought me life, murmured and spoke stories of all that was know in their time, and graced me with my time on Planet Earth. The old me that I shed each cusp of my birth, informs the next "me", yet the truest nature of who I am expands further, inhabiting a more joyous and fecund harmony. As I age, I continue to find way to lessen the negative impacts on the planet, while enriching the community. I pledge my existence to sharing this belief in the future, this utter giving of myself to the moment, relying on cosmic eddies to carry this impetus  of love and affection through The Universe unbound by time.

I honor and respect the circles of life, of time and of water, nutrients, energy, all of it, but the circle of our own days is as far as many of us need to go to find a time-signature of life that resonates with our soul. Birthdays, or Birth Moons are often a great time to plant trees, especially if you were born in Spring or Fall. October is usually a busy time for tree planting and spreading seeds. The time signature of this form of give back might take twenty or thirty years to mature, but millions of collateral benefits will accrue to all humans and animals who inhabit the environment while the benefit increases.

Harmony can be seen by others, but can only be felt by individuals, mine comes from honoring and respecting the cusp during which I made my first appearance in the world. One show stopped and mine started during the Cuban Missile Crisis, so many years ago. Each year my transformation has been as complete as caterpillar to butterfly, although not in a physical way. One year I saw clearly a triad of competing interests, another I was deeply and profoundly changed forever by friends who were deeply worthy of respect, another year it was the death of the "savior" that I had felt the need to become. Each October, my costuming of that person I call myself, has released another part of me, taking a rightful place amongst the discarded images that fail to capture who I truly am.

Some may want to look down their noses at me for my beliefs, I will always honor the sanctity of all living things, as well as Gaia (if you want to call it that), but the realms that I take in stride are perceived as alien minefields to many, who turn off their perceptual apparatus. I cannot say for sure that I am on the "right track" but I can say truthfully that I have never felt a need for much of and many of the things that people claim as their doctrine. Many rituals and rites do for me something that would be scary to them, to me they are physically linking me to the energies of place, grounding and cleansing my perceptual apparatus. In fact, the most powerful rites which I have participated in of other "religions" were wholesale lifting of pagan traditions for their use. Especially if we have pretty much the same rites and rituals, can't we just all get along? Justice demands that we make sure not one of us gets hurt by the other cavalierly running over our rights. I will attempt to make sure that my reverie during this moon hurts no one.