There has been a recent popularity of the saying, taken from airplane safety talks, that sums up this particular noble virtue. "Put your own oxygen mask on before you assist others." This, perhaps, is one of the best ways to think about this concept and quality. All organisms on the planet exhibit this trait. There is a powerful change that takes place when one becomes independent, self-reliant and autonomous. Again, I go back to my youth and days spent in the woods. Even before I knew about leave no trace ethics or had any camping gear at all, I knew my way around fire, knives and wild edibles. There were still hobos living in the woods along railroad tracks back then and I saw proof of their passing, from fire pits to cast off coffee cans, blankets left behind after they got wet in a storm, etc. Utilizing these cast off items and a bit of creativity, I could "play" in the stream collecting crayfish, or if I could collect fishing line and a lure or hook from the bank of the stream, actually fish for a shore lunch. Of course, an old can could double as a pot to boil water in, or a dry, flat rock could be used as a griddle to fry my catch. I could make "forts" out of soaking wet bedrolls and in my mind, drying them out at the same time might even make them useful again.
Finding a way to live that utilizes cast off elements from other creatures is a time tested way to cultivate self-reliance. As is getting intimate with the world around you. I have sheltered in rock overhangs during drenching rains, I have slept in leaf piles when there was light mist. One very memorable night, I found a rock formation on top of a mountain (at least we call them mountains around here) that fit my body like a waterbed. I found this place by myself and no one was coming to rescue me, I was living by my wits and the benevolence and hospitality of the world around me. One of the first and foremost benefits of cultivating this trait is that when one is neither a burden or bother, it keeps others from being distracted from their path and priorities. Living in ways that hinge on self-reliance also frees up many resources that dovetail into one of the other noble virtues, hospitality.
At first these seem disjoint, but when you live free of the desire to pull others into your vortex, free of the corrupting forces of needing or wanting attention, resources or energy that by definition are coming from others, you will abundance, a cascade of blessings and such a powerful shift in your own countenance that grace will pervade your being in profound ways. You do not have to be good at everything to get to a place of self-reliance, you just have to be willing to do what it takes and meet each new set of circumstances with the focus of a master crafts person, the creativity of an artist and the grace you are capable of emulating. Whatever skills you are capable of exhibiting can lead to self-reliance if you can master the want driven aspects of your personality and focus on what is needed. Again, a beautiful and angelic spirit that I know, who inhabits the body of a friend once said, "as long as you can make bread, play with/teach the children and you are willing to do dishes, you will never have to pay rent." This set of skills do not impinge on others, they do not require that others go out of their way to "support" you, in fact, these skills offered by a graceful being who emulates self-reliance and power that comes from knowing you are providing valuable services also qualifies as self-reliance. Things that would seem like liabilities in this case, a sink full of dirty dishes, or unattended children, even empty mouths whose bread is commercially produced with suspicious ingredients are turned into resources to be taken gladly by the person who sees them as resources to help pave the way to self-reliance.
We cannot forget others in our quest for self-reliance, just as I gave thanks for the hobos for leaving me obtanium (cast off items that are still useful) however, I also honored my own creativity and intellect by making use of them for new purposes and leaving things a little better after my passing. when I would come across a hobo encampment, often there would be trash, or at least the fire pit would need to be cleaned out and these efforts policing the area never felt like work. Participating in the give-back never feels like a burden when you understand the joy of making things just a little bit better. Several decades after my childhood experiences, I learned from a wise soul that trash breeds trash. On some level I must have known that when I took care to leave campsites and trails cleaner than I found them. I had relied on my own sensibilities, my own conscience, to pick up cast off trash, to leave each glen and fen better than I had found it. my own self, independent of knowledgeable others determined my actions, that is often enough. Doing these things is also, not enough, the reasons behind your actions often have more to do with self-reliance than the actions themselves. I never felt a shred of disgust for how casually trash got left behind, I never acted out of spite or harbored the slightest malice toward those who would pollute without a thought. I certainly never desired accolades for my efforts. (and I still don't) Instead, I focused on my own joy at being integrated into a larger system. In many ways, the only way we can leave the world better than we found it is to give without limit and support our selves first. Helping to take care of others can only be possible if we first attend to our own needs and become capable of being attentive to our selves.
Physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual awareness can lead us to understand what is necessary for our own organism to survive and thrive. In my eyes, self-reliance comes from not only understanding these different parts of our selves, but learning how to take care of these different parts of our being in ways that do not tax others, infringe on their ability to meet their needs or block their development either. A deep and profound liberation takes place when you know that you can make it in this world, not by continuously taking from others or stealing their energies for your benefit. These virtues are actually all aspects of one, much deeper quality. Sadly, the word for it has religious connotations, but it is separate and distinct from any and all religions; that is grace. when we become self-reliant, it helps us to "suffer the slings and arrows" of others because we know that within ourselves we hold the resources needed to take care of this organism we each call home, at least for this lifetime.
Finding a way to live that utilizes cast off elements from other creatures is a time tested way to cultivate self-reliance. As is getting intimate with the world around you. I have sheltered in rock overhangs during drenching rains, I have slept in leaf piles when there was light mist. One very memorable night, I found a rock formation on top of a mountain (at least we call them mountains around here) that fit my body like a waterbed. I found this place by myself and no one was coming to rescue me, I was living by my wits and the benevolence and hospitality of the world around me. One of the first and foremost benefits of cultivating this trait is that when one is neither a burden or bother, it keeps others from being distracted from their path and priorities. Living in ways that hinge on self-reliance also frees up many resources that dovetail into one of the other noble virtues, hospitality.
At first these seem disjoint, but when you live free of the desire to pull others into your vortex, free of the corrupting forces of needing or wanting attention, resources or energy that by definition are coming from others, you will abundance, a cascade of blessings and such a powerful shift in your own countenance that grace will pervade your being in profound ways. You do not have to be good at everything to get to a place of self-reliance, you just have to be willing to do what it takes and meet each new set of circumstances with the focus of a master crafts person, the creativity of an artist and the grace you are capable of emulating. Whatever skills you are capable of exhibiting can lead to self-reliance if you can master the want driven aspects of your personality and focus on what is needed. Again, a beautiful and angelic spirit that I know, who inhabits the body of a friend once said, "as long as you can make bread, play with/teach the children and you are willing to do dishes, you will never have to pay rent." This set of skills do not impinge on others, they do not require that others go out of their way to "support" you, in fact, these skills offered by a graceful being who emulates self-reliance and power that comes from knowing you are providing valuable services also qualifies as self-reliance. Things that would seem like liabilities in this case, a sink full of dirty dishes, or unattended children, even empty mouths whose bread is commercially produced with suspicious ingredients are turned into resources to be taken gladly by the person who sees them as resources to help pave the way to self-reliance.
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| Being self-reliant is actually not even a choice, we must all master it before we can attain balance. |
We cannot forget others in our quest for self-reliance, just as I gave thanks for the hobos for leaving me obtanium (cast off items that are still useful) however, I also honored my own creativity and intellect by making use of them for new purposes and leaving things a little better after my passing. when I would come across a hobo encampment, often there would be trash, or at least the fire pit would need to be cleaned out and these efforts policing the area never felt like work. Participating in the give-back never feels like a burden when you understand the joy of making things just a little bit better. Several decades after my childhood experiences, I learned from a wise soul that trash breeds trash. On some level I must have known that when I took care to leave campsites and trails cleaner than I found them. I had relied on my own sensibilities, my own conscience, to pick up cast off trash, to leave each glen and fen better than I had found it. my own self, independent of knowledgeable others determined my actions, that is often enough. Doing these things is also, not enough, the reasons behind your actions often have more to do with self-reliance than the actions themselves. I never felt a shred of disgust for how casually trash got left behind, I never acted out of spite or harbored the slightest malice toward those who would pollute without a thought. I certainly never desired accolades for my efforts. (and I still don't) Instead, I focused on my own joy at being integrated into a larger system. In many ways, the only way we can leave the world better than we found it is to give without limit and support our selves first. Helping to take care of others can only be possible if we first attend to our own needs and become capable of being attentive to our selves.
Physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual awareness can lead us to understand what is necessary for our own organism to survive and thrive. In my eyes, self-reliance comes from not only understanding these different parts of our selves, but learning how to take care of these different parts of our being in ways that do not tax others, infringe on their ability to meet their needs or block their development either. A deep and profound liberation takes place when you know that you can make it in this world, not by continuously taking from others or stealing their energies for your benefit. These virtues are actually all aspects of one, much deeper quality. Sadly, the word for it has religious connotations, but it is separate and distinct from any and all religions; that is grace. when we become self-reliant, it helps us to "suffer the slings and arrows" of others because we know that within ourselves we hold the resources needed to take care of this organism we each call home, at least for this lifetime.
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