Now Or Never

How many times have we heard those words? I can think of dozens of times myself and oddly enough they were often the last words I heard before doing somthing pretty dumb actually. Get your driver's license they said, "It's now or never." I was twenty-five and my grandfather had never gotten his driver's license. I guess the people who cared about me most didn't want me relying on others for transport if I needed to move my body across the planet faster than walking, biking or busses might move me. I felt no compulsion to drive, no alacrity whatsoever. I had lived on the East Coast and had seen the genteel, efficient culture and lifestyle that often springs up around urban areas served by efficient transit. Walkable villages proximal to rail links, after generations of only having to have one car, can add up to tens of thousands, perhaps eventually hundreds of thousands of dollars, saved; plus time spent commuting can be infinitely more productive and rewarding than when just driving back and forth, moving your skin bag around.I have always figured that if people truly like the place they are, they won't feel th eneed to move about as much anyway. The irony of self-driving cars is they will continue to try to emulate mass transit, but they can never become as efficient or safe, because they are mixing it up on the regular streets, where accidents sometimes happen. This, combined with autonomous vehicles being small, you lose that shred of extra safety that comes from every other driver knowing, you don't want to hit a bus. You may be able to make self-driving cars not turn left into traffic, but one can never know another driver might do it to you. Another time these words were spoken was when the neighborhood kids had built a platform, high up in the largest tree on our block. There was a giant cable we had pulled out of the river that one of the crazy adults we knew attached to an even higher branch, so our "rope" swing was over sixty feet long and produced a huge swing arc. I'm not sure how, bu tsomeone managed to put a giant knot in th ebottom of the cable that even acted like a seat. Anyway, I climbed up to the top platform and the kids of the neighborhood gathered, one swung the cable to me. The idea was to hold on tight, let yourself fall off the platform and slide down thick plastic covered cable. Well, I just could not do it. I was th efat kid and the tiny knot of kids surrounding the rope swing had doubled and doubled again until I was sort-of the show. At least half the kids in the neighborhood thought I would chicken out. I probably thoguht I would too, but I knew it was safer than trying to climb back down the tree. The words were said,"It's now or never. Besides, you don't want the whole neighborhood to know you chickened out." Well, I leaned off and nothing happened I was suspended in mid air by my two hands clutching the cable and my underwear had gotten stuck on the head of a nail as I left the platform, so I was attached to the rope swing by me two arms and for a fat kid, that's scary enough, but my ass was nowhere near the wooden platform, so there was no way to go back. This may have been th efirst time in my life that time slowed down because what may have only been ten seconds seemed like half an hour. Those assembled were pointing and yelling, laughing and screaming. I saw my sister cover her eyes and knew that couldn't be good. One of the adults immediately started climbing up, bu tin th eend, the guy who chided me to "go!" stopped laughing and pointing long enough to release me, from the rear end and I came down fast, but safely. My hands burned from the friction with the great plastic sheath, but my face burned more from humiliation and disgust. No one enjoys being the butt of jokes, especially when it is because of somethnig so close to your butt! Nearly as often, though when I jumped off or got that driver's licnse, it was the start of something grand, somethnig that surpassed even my own expectations about what that decision was going to make in th erest of my life. Going to college was one of those now or never things. Making my first week long canoe trip and embarking on my Great Lakes Bicycle Trip all had that moment of fear and trepidation that comes from hearing thos ewords, so often paired with challenge and difficulties, most often unbidden. Who can know before we leap into the abyss what the future will bring? My family history is replete with stories like when we left The Coal Region of PA headed for Denver and the first day out the cooler got dumped and shorted out the main wiring harness of the car. It presented us a truly now or never choice. We would either make it back to Denver or not. That was the big question of the moment, but the repair had taken one of our three travel envelopes. We frequently travelled like that. We would add money to the envelopes equally, over a seriries of weeks or month, saving up for our trip. The envelopes were lovingly labeled Food, Fuel and Fun. The "Fun" envelope got it's contents removed, a full third of our budget for the whole trip evaporated on day one. The Sun had not even set yet and we expected to get to Iowa by nightfall. That was the start of a trip that re-introduced me to the first true love of my life. A friend from Middle School who is smart, beautiful and compassionate, exciting to be around, with high moral character and who had always been able to arouse my animal instincts. Had we not decided to go, as crazy as much of the rest of the trip was, my life would have never been the same. Sadly, I think it was me, not wanting to "now or never" something or other that led to our moving apart. All of this has been a convoluted preamble to NOW. Sometimes stories of old are not enough. They act as touchpoints, signposts or lighthouses, helping warn of the rocky shores and sandy shoals but sooner or later, we all need to leave the safety of shore and jump off, into the unknown. We need to do it before the echoes of the words "now or never" die out in our ears, we need to move! We can never plant the tree we needed to plant twenty years ago, we can only do this one in this moment. We cannot take back words not said, we can only offer what words we have now. It is impossible force opportunity to find a way back, when we find it is more conveinient for us or for us to bid opportunity wait unitl we actually feel ready. If those things were possible, we would all be famous and rich and living the life of Rilley. Strike while the iron is hot, change is gonna come, but only if we get with th eprogram and do our part. I promise, if you get caught up by the underwear, or are in over your head, I won't point and laugh, I will come to your aid. We can all see the predictions and trend lines. If we want to have seven generations revere and honor us, we have to do the same for them.

Meeting Hatred With Decency

It is well known that the most powerful amongst us have a vehement hatred, directed toward us. They believe that we are sub-human and deserve to be their tools. They will never allow us dignity or respect. Slavery is not in the realm of history, no matter our color, we are enslaved by the very corporate welfare that we pay to be subservient to the whims of industry, banking and the powers that be, no matter what capitalistic endeavor they choose to shove down our throats. We have a patchwork of many nations that have elected officials who are in cahoots with our real leaers. We see the hate reflected in de-humanizing rhetoric directed at teachers, "the poor", druggies, our elders, children, "liberals", criminals and welfare cheats while many of the most powerful interests on the planet get fat on the profits they make off our dreams. We hear incessantly about how terrible it is for a teacher to stay in the middle class, while her students are in poverty, but we forget that without a role model who has become better off, no child would want to climb out of poverty. What would there be to look forward to?

The hate that the ultra-wealthy have for us is reflected in the farce that plays out over our elders having to work through retirement to make ends meet, even though their lives were lived in service to the current power structure. The same elite "class" that extracts even more wealth, keeping the elderly employed, enrich themselves further as they continue to play the justified part as the oppressors, the extractors of "human resources", the rapists of Mother Earth. The same top dogs who made up the system of beliefs that lead to austerity measures being foisted on those disabled by corporate excesses have come to call for every last red cent that they can get, be it in the form of our last remaining shreds of humanity, our children's future and even our legacy for the ages. If there are human beings here in five more centuries, they will look back at things and understand that we have all been slaves to a lying, cheating, greedy and hate riddled elite. Do not get me wrong. I do have a certain "justifiable hate" for these people as well, but I know in my DNA that this is a mere product of their oppression. There is no value in perusing or living within the blind shroud of this emotion. The system that has been perpetrated upon us by the haters is what we must work to change. Love truly means letting go of fear.

Can the constant assault of the oppressors be tolerated? As difficult as it may be to say, it must be. Toleration, however is a  far, far cry from complicity. When we are decent to the haters, it will not mock, it will not seek to rub their nose in the crap as we find it. Never, will it lead to getting back at or humiliating them.They do these things to themselves by their own depravity, their own lack of humanity. It is from these self-destructive habits of theirs that our decency can bring them back. Decency opens a door that can eventually lead to their healing. Standing as decent human beings, worthy of respect and equality is the only way to prove that the insults they throw at us have no standing. Quality works by example and invites reciprocation has been the clarion call of good folk since the beginning of time. Reducing our own tactics to the depraved level of the self-righteous oppressors only guarantees that when we climb to the top of the shit pile, on the bones of their offensive constructions, that we will enlist their other tools for the oppression of whoever we choose to hate after their demise. This is not the way to found a new or sustainable culture.

A friend claimed recently that the reason that peace has not won out in political or moral debate is because it is so easy to inflame human-beings and that bashing heads, killing and being brutal to those we detest, need so little impetus to get started. Continuation of conflict has been the way all great cultures have flourished. Today, if we were to take this approach to the logical conclusion, war will remain inevitable. The rich will remain safe while the rest of us duke it out, striking out with hatred against imaginary straw groups who the rulers determine with the turn of a phrase. Decent people are unwilling to hate on command. The self loathing that the ultra-wealthy heap upon us can lead to crippling effects, but as long as we allow hate to flourish, it can only perpetrate their flawed system. Better human communication and understanding that we are all better off working in harmony as opposed to discord is the only way out of the ancient belief that we are brutish.

 I work hard to point out the hateful, deceitful, extractive and decrepit aspects of the ruling class. I use strong language to reveal the truth behind their lies, but I do not want to engender hate for those who hate us. Instead I beg each and every person I meet to be calm, to look with a longer gaze into the future that we are creating through our thoughts and actions. Each and every relationship that we cultivate, each and every emotion we feed will grow and in time it will determine who we are. Perhaps, the most enduring way that we can immortalize a sense of hope and self-respect in future generations is to model for them the respect for decency that has created the changes we see taking place amongst us today, territory we have carved out through tolerance, respect for others and the decency to stand tall, knowing that truth will eventually set us free from the detrimental effects of hatred.


I am not black, I am not a Jew. I am not a woman, nor Native by blood. Not Hispanic, nor Asian, not Christian, not you, but I respect the humanity that we all share. The majority has the right to breathe clean air, drink clean water and to touch one another in meaningful ways. No one deserves to be hated and no one is served by hating any other being. We are all reduced just a little bit by it. The honorable among us respect one another and the planet without condition, and we each feel the sting of hate when we see it, hear it or understand it. fortunately I have a voice to raise in defense of decency and I will not rest until I have spoken my own version of truth to power. When we all stand on the side of truth, the power structure that pits us one against another will run out of pawns. When we stand together, above the rhetoric of hate, this conveys a message to even the casual observers that we shall not be moved. The moral high ground exists in our ability to be our best in the face of the oppressors. Namaste'

Allowing Change To Come, Welcoming Our Future

Last evening I saw frightful evidence that there are those who feel that the Biblical reference to "end times" is fact and that the schedule of events is set and unchangeable. It gave me pause to consider the dozens of millenarian beliefs that have come and gone over the decades. If we do this, it will surely mean the end of civilization as we know it. If we do that, it spells disaster, the aliens will beam us up if we wait in a certain field on a hilltop during the full moon of October, etc. Friends, and I mean it in the most New Jersey of ways, we cannot keep basing our decisions on a book that has been fabricated to placate the human need for power and control over vast populations. You know it, the women get a very raw deal in the biblical "rule book". Clinging to the end times as a relief from ways of the world is as absurd as setting a date certain for the demise of humankind. Belief in a prophet as the son of God is only silly when you realize that Bible Thumpers have fabricated an image of god that is as unbalanced as we are. I can tell you, if I loved the world so much as to give them my only begotten son, I sure as hell wouldn't turn around and destroy it. The frightening thing about realizing that these "believers" are amongst us is that they have no semblance of responsibility for what is going to happen in the future.

I suppose, for them, having the joy of doing pretty much whatever they want until the rapture, which will close the book on civilization, has a liberating effect. Like watching the flowing river can take us wherever we want to go, the efficacy of god's exit strategy exempts us from having to do or try anything. From time to time there are facets of our lives that seem as alien to me as the concept of missionaries. Fortunately, there are also times that I can see past the events of the day and the processes that we have developed to live "civilized" lives, knowing that they too will change and develop or be cast off when they are no longer useful or capable of taking us where we need to go. Certainly, the intolerance of my grandfather's generation had to change. If it had not, there would be far more people dying in the streets than we have today. Religiosity too has fared poorly in these times, which some fear is a dangerous reflection on our moral code of ethics. Ironically, the abandonment of organized religion speaks to the fact that out of touch myths have lost their power over our minds. I find this one of the most refreshing parts of being alive at this time. There is finally a new way of seeing the world that allows us to be directed from our hearts rather than our minds, or what some well-meaning person says from the pulpit.

When we take a trip, or go on vacation, we must leave behind a set of expectations and comforts that we have become accustomed to. The same can be said about the times we are living in. What has worked in the past cannot thrive in the face of mounting evidence that we are killing our species off through ever increasing burdens of toxic and carcinogenic substances in our food, air, water and the soils. I have to laugh at the recent media campaign "Stand Up To Cancer", the first two people I knew who died from that disease were my grandmothers, over fifteen years apart. Now, twenty-five years later, I would relish even a single year without losing several friends or loved ones to the disease. In spite of the truth about cancer, we still seek to research the heck out of it and to develop treatments for the disease rather than stopping the process where we can be most effective. I blame those who are seeking a way out or a method for forsaking the idea of change.

As our train has already left the station, it is for us to do what we can to pass the time in ways that do not disrupt other people who may be on a different trip. Some claim, very convincingly, that their itinerary is the best one, but as we eventually come to learn, it is the trip that matters, not your schedule of events. The times may not inspire hope for everyone, but the one sure thing is that nothing will stay the same except the moon and the sky. We cannot hope to move either one, but we can make changes in our selves. In my own way, I have come to a place of giving back. This is a challenge for someone who has been told that I am in poverty for nearly my entire life, but as we have come to learn, the best things in life are free. A good friend sings a song that has the lyric, "There's only two things you just can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes." The abundance of nature keeps staring us in the face, day after day. How we meet the challenges of our daily lives is completely up to us, but my own feeling is that by sharing the love we have with others, we can learn to grow together. Unlike those awaiting the "end times", I am committed and invested in the unending arc of time.

As we learn and grow, we continue to make strides toward a future that none of us can imagine today. What we can be sure of is that without kindness and sensitivity to the results of our actions, learning to cope will not get any easier. This month I am involved in a massive remodel of our home. We have a tiny little place that is warm and welcoming, but the cost of owning it has exceeded our expectations. As a fine friend once put it, we are left to find ways of generating more income. However, as we have all see, especially in the recent past and foreseeable future, any pennies saved are actually earned. Therefore, I have invested heavily in insulation and anxiously await the heat bills of an upgraded home. In researching figures about the carbon footprints of people around the world, I have found the one thing about the worldwide recession that may hint at a silver lining. Our assault on mother Nature has lessened as we spend less and rely on more and more local sources for our way of life. As far as I am concerned, there is no downside to living within our means and trying to live without cheap plastic crap from China. I do believe in a future with my fellow human beings. What others believe in is ultimately up to them, but when it cuts off access to making up our own minds, or acting responsible in the light of new information, that is where I part company with the doomsday prophecies.

Try to do one thing every day that will make a difference in 100 years. You may be surprised to find out where that perspective leads. Lord and Lady both know trying things the other way has not worked up 'til now. The change that is coming will most certainly be frustrating at times, perhaps even unwelcome from time to time, but if we change the eyes with which we see these events unfold, actively participating in becoming a solution to difficult times, troubles and challenges, we have the greatest source of power at our disposal. The ability to love one another and our planet as we love our selves. Don't place your faith in antiquated writings, but rather the people who share a vision of a better life through active participation in the world rather than forsaking them. Arms are for hugging and through the love that a hug represents, all the troubles of the world can be faced unafraid.

Solstice Wishes

In these times we are facing unprecedented change in virtually every area of our lives. Perhaps this is why so many folks are "clinging to their guns and religion".
I have been aware of and studying the stock market and economics generally for over thirty years and the amount of upheaval and change there is negligible considering the pressing need for us to significantly change our approach to finance, business and industry. In education, food systems and transportation we are seeing change, just not enough to alter the course of dire projections that have been in the wind for the last thirty years or more.

We have available technologies that could bring transport costs and emissions down significantly while providing a better quality of life for millions. We just can't muster the will to mandate necessary change. Educational systems are failing. Many school systems exhibit falling budgets and test scores but we try to reclaim the high ground by focusing on the "Three 'R's" an the institution of national "standards" or curricula. What is needed is a new approach to our beloved children. We must stop warehousing them as a means to subsidize industry with "free" child care. Let them guide their own education and pursue their interests with the help of trained guides and mentors. Foodies try to transform the American Diet, but as long "eat local" folks are seen as fringe metrosexuals and people with odd looking glasses, footwear or hairstyles, we cannot hope to get the average consumer to know or care where their carrots come from. My favorite, by the way, are from either the back yard, or local farmer's market. The rape of our soils and the packing of our gullet for profit only makes the situation worse. As our very flesh becomes marbled, fat cats keep making decisions that allow them to laugh all the way to the bank.

My solstice Wish is for the sun to enlighten not only the globe, but the hearts of man/womankind. We need to realign ourselves, perhaps by worshiping this flaming ball in our sky. Recognize that all life flows from it and to respect what it has the power to do as well as what it cannot provide. All of our energy and food are produced by the sun. Even the "non-solar" aspects of nuclear energy pale when compared to the exploration and mining of uranium, carried out with fossil fuel derived energy, the processing and enrichment, again performed through massive fossil-fuel energy inputs, the transport and waste handling, also provided through conventional fossil fuel consuming processes. Without solar energy, the fires it can fuel, air and clean water, we are doomed death upon a lifeless rock. We need to thank the sun daily for the essential role it plays in our lives.

I have taken the commuter trains that exist out east. I have seen the effects of the "Main-line" on local communities, where for generations families have been able to exist without the drain of a second car on their budgets. I remember the last passenger train service pulling out of my town, and as the town has died, I have not been able to make it to the other social and commercial centers where we used to go when I was a child. I want these opportunities back, not only for me, but for my children and grand children. As more and more of our lives are spent disengaged from the world, I would like to see more honest interaction. Sharing where our food has come from, what we have learned from and taught our children, and what we learned on our way to work. Just as the Sun allows us to get a glimpse of our environment, I hope that we can see in one another little steps that we can all make to create a more appropriate future, one that honors people and the environment above profit, one that values things on a scale of the heart rather than the pocketbook and find ways to enrich one another's lives as well as our own.

Seven Generations of Service

When we grow, we pass through developmental stages. Things that we see, feel and understand change over time and when I was trained to be an educator, there was a tendency to focus on the young, since educating them was the way most teachers would make their living. My approach to education required a deeper understanding of growth stages that we pass through after the "formal" education process is complete. I have never felt that education should cease because we fulfill the requirements of any school. Luckily, I have found a profession that requires me to continue to learn, adapt and develop both skills and knowledge. Of course, what is harder to teach is attitude. Many feel that this is the hardest part of being a teacher, inspiring a curious attitude. Life long learning seems to me to be redundant, but for many, the idea of stimulating one's brain past high school, or college seems foreign. I often repeat what an older mentor said when I was a young man and a bit more impressionable, "I've forgotten more than most young people have learned." however, as my training has taught me, I do know where to look up much of that information when I need it. Sometimes knowing where to look is as important as what you find there.

We have dug ourselves quite a hole over the past seven generations. Many of our resources, (which I like to think of as gifts) are either waning, or have completely run out. Our species has run out of territory to "move on" into. Our cavalier cowboy approach to economics, land use and "development" have led to a broken economy, broken lives, broken homes and broken cities. The numbers of people falling through the cracks has increased exponentially as has our inability to resolve pressing issues. I feel that some of this is because we have been driven to distraction by stressors in our own lives. Many also find that if they look closely at nearly any problem, it seems to be systemic, and resolving it seems like it will take more effort than they can muster. I still have faith in education. I believe that if we can learn new ways of seeing, new ways of behaving and new ways to be of service to others, we can find our way out of several of the messes that we have made over past generations. What we need is a better framework for valuing our needs and critically investigating our wants.

I feel that we need to ask several important questions about each and every one of our choices, from housing to food and from energy to consumerism generally. Even the causes we support and our volunteerism can have lasting impacts on our planet and our collective future. How much is enough? Will this serve the next seven generations? Where have these things come from, and perhaps, more importantly, where will they end up? Remember that in nature there is no away, the planet works with such elegance that there is no waste, everything serves another purpose when it is passed it's "useful life". Every individual organism is an integral part of the whole. I am confident that if we can learn to become like our brothers and sisters in the natural world, we will fare much better in the coming years. We are taking some baby steps in the right direction, but to make a lasting positive change, we will need to embrace changes that will lead to sustaining the planet, it's essential resources, and the ability of future generations to enjoy a standard of living at least as high as that to which we have become accustomed.