Modern research has begun to understand various unseen elements within us. Will, for instance, has been investigated for quite some time and it is beginning, finally, to yield some clues about where it comes from and why so many of us have found it to "run out" about this time of year. Just as other aspects of personality seem to wax and wane, will is actually a resource within us that can be developed, squandered and conserved. Some of the earliest research about this subject that I read about was an experiment in which children of different ages were made to sit in a room with a marshmallow in front of them on the table. They were given the instruction, or perhaps the advice, that if they could leave the marshmallow alone until the researcher returned, they would receive two marshmallows. What was the motivation? To try to understand the will. Children who tried to stare down the marshmallow often succumbed the most quickly and never received the "reward" that a small amount of willpower would have produced. Children who averted their eyes were much more likely to achieve the goal of waiting. Some went as far as to cover their eyes, realizing that it would be easier to wait if they removed their visual stimulus which was the source of their temptation. The will it seems can be assisted and undermined by our thoughts and actions.
Last evening, we watched Inn of the Sixth Happiness, a 1958 film based on the real-life story of a woman who went to China as a missionary. Though "unqualified", she went on her own into dangerous territory and eventually was able to save the lives of over 100 children displaced by war. The movie itself showed several aspects of her will and how she developed her mind and body to overcome the temptations we all face when choosing to "do the right thing." In more recent history there has been the desire to label children who are difficult, "willful" which always set my teeth on edge. Using the term willful as a bad thing only undermines the good aspects of the will and what it can provide if we learn to strengthen and utilize our wills for perseverance and achievement. There were many who told me, for instance, that I could not ride my bike around the Great Lakes and that no one would listen to a guy on a bike teaching them about living lightly on the planet. Back in 1987 there were far too many forces telling people that rampant consumerism would lead us to a better and more fulfilling lifestyle. As we can all stand to learn, or remember a bit more often, mastering the will makes the impossible possible and makes circumstances that most would cower from become not only possible, but meaningful growth opportunities. Without seeing our goals through, we are left feeling weak and alone, which undermines further any sense of self respect that we might have had. The heroes that we celebrate often regard their own sacrifice as tiny when compared to the common good which they can serve.
From a very young age, some of us learn to rely on that which surrounds us, for support, comfort and inspiration, some even define their reality by trying to decipher these external cues. This field dependency as it is called, frequently circumvents our ability to think outside the box, grapple with timeless questions and at times prevents us from formulating broader ideas about what could be, or the infinite possibilities that lie behind (or beyond) what we can see, hear, touch, feel and taste. Learning to create or to exceed expectations requires going beyond this field dependency realizing that whatever we are experiencing is by nature only temporary, transient and ultimately distraction from achieving our goals. The most well-known book on training your personality is called How to make friends and influence people by Andrew Carnegie. Many of the best organizations require an annual re-reading of this acme tome on redesigning ourselves for all of their people. Many of the traits that we exhibit for others to see fall into the same category as swimming or riding a bicycle, once learned, they will be with us for life, but some require a bit of practice every day to yield benefits. Thinking of others, cultivating a true and natural generosity and being compassionate are actually human nature, but we have been misled about these things long enough that it makes this fact easy to forget.
Discipline, self sacrifice and adherence to a steady moral compass have become so maligned in our culture that it may sound like a fairy tale to some, but without these things, we are like sailboats without a keel, subject to the wind and waves with no way forward, unless we allow ourselves to go with the flow. We have seen where this approach leads. Now, more than ever, we need to exercise our full potential. We have the right to get more out of life than many want to give. It may require a little soul searching, a little discipline and some exercising of basic skills, but there can be no mistake that we are at a critical turning point for not only our species, but for many others as well. Continuing to allow others to exert unlimited power and control over our leaders, the economy and the basic services that many of us rely on for survival must end. It will take more than a few trips to the personality gym to regain our strength of will and improve our grasp of "reality", but with consistent effort and practice we can become strong enough to right the ship of state, regain our collective keel and turn in the direction of something better. Will alone will help us re-establish a better course, but to stay on track and continue moving in the right direction will test all of the resources that we can bring to the process. Exercising those parts of us that we refer to as heart, spirit and will can only help when we become adept at realizing where the foundations of these elements reside, build their ability to act as signposts along our paths, and to find solace and refreshment in the realm of the unseen, often untapped resourced within ourselves.
Last evening, we watched Inn of the Sixth Happiness, a 1958 film based on the real-life story of a woman who went to China as a missionary. Though "unqualified", she went on her own into dangerous territory and eventually was able to save the lives of over 100 children displaced by war. The movie itself showed several aspects of her will and how she developed her mind and body to overcome the temptations we all face when choosing to "do the right thing." In more recent history there has been the desire to label children who are difficult, "willful" which always set my teeth on edge. Using the term willful as a bad thing only undermines the good aspects of the will and what it can provide if we learn to strengthen and utilize our wills for perseverance and achievement. There were many who told me, for instance, that I could not ride my bike around the Great Lakes and that no one would listen to a guy on a bike teaching them about living lightly on the planet. Back in 1987 there were far too many forces telling people that rampant consumerism would lead us to a better and more fulfilling lifestyle. As we can all stand to learn, or remember a bit more often, mastering the will makes the impossible possible and makes circumstances that most would cower from become not only possible, but meaningful growth opportunities. Without seeing our goals through, we are left feeling weak and alone, which undermines further any sense of self respect that we might have had. The heroes that we celebrate often regard their own sacrifice as tiny when compared to the common good which they can serve.
From a very young age, some of us learn to rely on that which surrounds us, for support, comfort and inspiration, some even define their reality by trying to decipher these external cues. This field dependency as it is called, frequently circumvents our ability to think outside the box, grapple with timeless questions and at times prevents us from formulating broader ideas about what could be, or the infinite possibilities that lie behind (or beyond) what we can see, hear, touch, feel and taste. Learning to create or to exceed expectations requires going beyond this field dependency realizing that whatever we are experiencing is by nature only temporary, transient and ultimately distraction from achieving our goals. The most well-known book on training your personality is called How to make friends and influence people by Andrew Carnegie. Many of the best organizations require an annual re-reading of this acme tome on redesigning ourselves for all of their people. Many of the traits that we exhibit for others to see fall into the same category as swimming or riding a bicycle, once learned, they will be with us for life, but some require a bit of practice every day to yield benefits. Thinking of others, cultivating a true and natural generosity and being compassionate are actually human nature, but we have been misled about these things long enough that it makes this fact easy to forget.
Discipline, self sacrifice and adherence to a steady moral compass have become so maligned in our culture that it may sound like a fairy tale to some, but without these things, we are like sailboats without a keel, subject to the wind and waves with no way forward, unless we allow ourselves to go with the flow. We have seen where this approach leads. Now, more than ever, we need to exercise our full potential. We have the right to get more out of life than many want to give. It may require a little soul searching, a little discipline and some exercising of basic skills, but there can be no mistake that we are at a critical turning point for not only our species, but for many others as well. Continuing to allow others to exert unlimited power and control over our leaders, the economy and the basic services that many of us rely on for survival must end. It will take more than a few trips to the personality gym to regain our strength of will and improve our grasp of "reality", but with consistent effort and practice we can become strong enough to right the ship of state, regain our collective keel and turn in the direction of something better. Will alone will help us re-establish a better course, but to stay on track and continue moving in the right direction will test all of the resources that we can bring to the process. Exercising those parts of us that we refer to as heart, spirit and will can only help when we become adept at realizing where the foundations of these elements reside, build their ability to act as signposts along our paths, and to find solace and refreshment in the realm of the unseen, often untapped resourced within ourselves.
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