Fear Is Not A Family Value

Homo sapiens need a wake up call. Our hearts and minds have been heavily armored and who can blame us. The news programs and networks, that have proliferated and the "reality" television shows show us the most awful images and posit the most fearful views of life for us ad nauseum. We have been terrorized by the media for so long that it seems almost naive to trust, believe in, or count on anyone else. Other than our religious and political leaders, who have the most to gain from lying to us, we can include commercial interests, murderers, thieves, crazy people and sexual predators to the list of people who may be lurking around every corner. We have been led to fear nearly every bite of food that enters our bodies and every fluid that exudes from us as well. We now are beginning to understand that our water may be dangerous, the air definitely is and the very ground that we walk upon is "filled" with bacteria and fungus that might kill us if we have contact with it.

This morning, on a local news program, I learned that a local municipality is embarking on a program that will cut down hundreds of ash trees on city property to prevent them from being killed by the emerald ash borer, an invasive insect that only feeds upon these wonderful shade trees. The fear of what might happen is being allowed to dictate to us how we will act, what we will do and how we think about our relationship to the world around us. Similar issues are played out daily in operating rooms across the US. There are probably few of us by now that have not heard of women being told that by having a mastectomy, or hysterectomy, they may be able to outlive their genetic "predisposition" to die from cancer, or that exposing their breasts to radiation might just save their lives. Fear is probably the most profitable industry to be in at present, although we are on the whole healthier and more secure than at any time in our history.

Before you let your mind wander down the slippery slope of what you have been told, we are actually living in the least violent time in history. that being said, we are all going to die. If we live long enough, it is almost certain that we will pray for a quick and painless death, but fortunately or unfortunately depending on your perspective, doctors will almost certainly try every trick that they have up their sleeve to extend your life, expend more and prolong your life as long as possible. Feeling that heroic measures that allow people to suffer just a few months or years longer is worth their effort. It has been over a year since my father passed away, so I'm not just saying so because I am filled with grief. after his second, and third heart surgery, the effort to rehabilitate himself was extremely painful and no amount of schedule one narcotics could touch his pain. Luckily, when he was driving under the influence of these drugs, he did not kill anyone. I'm sure that it was mostly because of quick thinking and rapid action on the part of those who saw him coming in the nick of time. The last time I rode in a car with him, he nearly took out three other cars within about a mile.

The things that we really should be spending time in fear of often go unnoticed.I have shared with many people my feeling that the true terrorists in our midst are the millions of drivers who continue to use their cell phones in the car. these people just don't know when they are going to kill. doctors too fit into that category as well because iatrogenic (doctor caused) deaths, from prescribed medications are approximately equivalent to all deaths in car accidents in our country. Some sources have documented the fact that they are even a greater number. If we are to trust one another, we need to be acting in a trustworthy manner. The almost universal rejection of responsibility in our culture has fascinated me for the better part of half a century. In the last few weeks I have been reminding myself of the fact that when we point at others, there are three fingers pointing back at us. We are encouraged to fear by the powerful interests who wish to divide us and keep us isolated amongst our neighbors.

When we investigate most of the subjects that get covered by the popular press, we find that the causes and effects of these events are frequently left out of the coverage. The heroic actions of those who exhibit bravery or courage are usually not covered, nor are the actions of those who quietly persevere. These activities, quite often, don't photograph well or take place behind the scenes. My contention is that these actions and activities are far more common than we ever realize. Living is not a series of investments in insurance, or installing locks on everything that we value, nor is it the blocking out of all that threatens our way of life or ideas. In fact, the happiest people on Earth spend the least time on these sorts of activities. I have always wanted to be a preacher of sorts, but the reason is pretty much the opposite of any preachers that you might have heard speak before. I openly admit that I cannot tell you what to do. I'm not even sure that what I might say is right and i certainly don't want anyone to take any action in my name or in the "name" of the Lord or Lady, but rather because it is coming from your heart. I often write about the fictions that our minds spin for us into the illusion of truth. The ego is adept at lying to us and the weak of heart often subvert their true selves for the edification of their own deceitful egos. I am not who I think I am. Neither are you. The threats to your health and well being that you believe in do more to take you away from living your bliss than you may ever know. I apologize to those of you who may understand this already, but what speaker can resist the urge to preach to the choir from time to time.

Living our lives requires that we accept some risk. The more we hide behind layers of fear, the less we are able to see and understand the world as it truly is. There are many who reap the benefits of us shuttering our windows, living with our heads in the sand and turning our backs on those in need. We all have the power to live heroic lives, lives of infinite abundance and lives that recognize the fact that each and every human being is entitled to a life of love and realization. If each one teaches one, the process of growing into the people we want to be, rather than victims becomes much easier. We need to let go of fear if we are to have the power of love flow through us. The values that came down to us from our parents and theirs have been assaulted, attacked and undermined by the media for the better part of two generations. The threats that we face today are straw men, fabricated and propped up by those who want us to leave the churches, our government, the financial institutions and the schools available for their use as tools of oppression and they also want us to relinquish the airwaves to be used as an insidious tool for spreading fear. If we allow them to sell us a bill of goods that states that our children, their mothers, the elderly, teachers, gays, unions, pot smokers, liberals and conservatives are "the problem", then we will be sufficiently afraid of everyone and everything and we will be unable to do the things we need to do to break free of these mental shackles. We are always left to make one decision either from the depths of our hearts, or from our own tiny ego. Will we lead lives of quiet desperation or will we rise to the challenge that faces us today? I am willing to stick my neck out. Please look into how you might follow your own bliss and let me know what you find.

Personality Calesthenics

Modern research has begun to understand various unseen elements within us. Will, for instance, has been investigated for quite some time and it is beginning, finally, to yield some clues about where it comes from and why so many of us have found it to "run out" about this time of year. Just as other aspects of personality seem to wax and wane, will is actually a resource within us that can be developed, squandered and conserved. Some of the earliest research about this subject that I read about was an experiment in which children of different ages were made to sit in a room with a marshmallow in front of them on the table. They were given the instruction, or perhaps the advice, that if they could leave the marshmallow alone until the researcher returned, they would receive two marshmallows. What was the motivation? To try to understand the will. Children who tried to stare down the marshmallow often succumbed the most quickly and never received the "reward" that a small amount of willpower would have produced. Children who averted their eyes were much more likely to achieve the goal of waiting. Some went as far as to cover their eyes, realizing that it would be easier to wait if they removed their visual stimulus which was the source of their temptation. The will it seems can be assisted and undermined by our thoughts and actions.

Last evening, we watched Inn of the Sixth Happiness, a 1958 film based on the real-life story of a woman who went to China as a missionary. Though "unqualified", she went on her own into dangerous territory and eventually was able to save the lives of over 100 children displaced by war. The movie itself showed several aspects of her will and how she developed her mind and body to overcome the temptations we all face when choosing to "do the right thing." In more recent history there has been the desire to label children who are difficult, "willful" which always set my teeth on edge. Using the term willful as a bad thing only undermines the good aspects of the will and what it can provide if we learn to strengthen and utilize our wills for perseverance and achievement. There were many who told me, for instance, that I could not ride my bike around the Great Lakes and that no one would listen to a guy on a bike teaching them about living lightly on the planet. Back in 1987 there were far too many forces telling people that rampant consumerism would lead us to a better and more fulfilling lifestyle. As we can all stand to learn, or remember a bit more often, mastering the will makes the impossible possible and makes circumstances that most would cower from become not only possible, but meaningful growth opportunities. Without seeing our goals through, we are left feeling weak and alone, which undermines further any sense of self respect that we might have had. The heroes that we celebrate often regard their own sacrifice as tiny when compared to the common good which they can serve.

From a very young age, some of us learn to rely on that which surrounds us, for support, comfort and inspiration, some even define their reality by trying to decipher these external cues. This field dependency as it is called, frequently circumvents our ability to think outside the box, grapple with timeless questions and at times prevents us from formulating broader ideas about what could be, or the infinite possibilities that lie behind (or beyond) what we can see, hear, touch, feel and taste. Learning to create or to exceed expectations requires going beyond this field dependency realizing that whatever we are experiencing is by nature only temporary, transient and ultimately distraction from achieving our goals. The most well-known book on training your personality is called How to make friends and influence people by Andrew Carnegie. Many of the best organizations require an annual re-reading of this acme tome on redesigning ourselves for all of their people. Many of the traits that we exhibit for others to see fall into the same category as swimming or riding a bicycle, once learned, they will be with us for life, but some require a bit of practice every day to yield benefits. Thinking of others, cultivating a true and natural generosity and being compassionate are actually human nature, but we have been misled about these things long enough that it makes this fact easy to forget.

Discipline, self sacrifice and adherence to a steady moral compass have become so maligned in our culture that it may sound like a fairy tale to some, but without these things, we are like sailboats without a keel, subject to the wind and waves with no way forward, unless we allow ourselves to go with the flow. We have seen where this approach leads. Now, more than ever, we need to exercise our full potential. We have the right to get more out of life than many want to give. It may require a little soul searching, a little discipline and some exercising of basic skills, but there can be no mistake that we are at a critical turning point for not only our species, but for many others as well. Continuing to allow others to exert unlimited power and control over our leaders, the economy and the basic services that many of us rely on for survival must end. It will take more than a few trips to the personality gym to regain our strength of will and improve our grasp of "reality", but with consistent effort and practice we can become strong enough to right the ship of state, regain our collective keel and turn in the direction of something better. Will alone will help us re-establish a better course, but to stay on track and continue moving in the right direction will test all of the resources that we can bring to the process. Exercising those parts of us that we refer to as heart, spirit and will can only help when we become adept at realizing where the foundations of these elements reside, build their ability to act as signposts along our paths, and to find solace and refreshment in the realm of the unseen, often untapped resourced within ourselves.