Four Missing Posts

Although it is true that some things are better left unsaid, I have been writing seven posts a month I made that commitment nearly six years ago and have kept writing at that pace ever since. The four missing posts last month were a combination of several things. First and foremost, I had my own break down of sorts, although I may have been able to write in spite of my own issues, trying to get my body to come back to a healthy state took a great deal of time. I also have been exquisitely feeling the stress of very little income. Although my injuries were sustained at work, at the time I thought nothing of it. Walking around on concrete for a week always makes my feet hurt badly. I thought it was just another bout with sore feet. I waited a few days and it did not get better, so I thought that perhaps I got a slight sprain in my ankle. By the time I realized that it was more than that, it was too late to make a workman's compensation claim. "Luckily", I am in the group of people "forced" to purchase health insurance, so my out of pocket costs have so far been about ten percent of what I made the week of the injury. However, it has been more than a month since then and the difficulty and pain is with me still. The latest prognosis is that it could be three to six months before I get back to "normal". Posterior tibialis injury is what the specialist calls it. Major ouch is what it means to me!

One might think that with having to sit more and put my foot up, or "take it easy", that there would be more time to write, but there has also been a crush to get many things accomplished and moving about is slow and at times painful. I hobbled through mowing the lawn once, but it took nearly all day. I have spent another 10% of that week's pay on having the lawn mowed. The repairs on our rental have been extensive and because I am only able to work there in a limited fashion, no ladders for over a month, there has been a sort of crush time and we are hiring out work that is to be done today. I have been finishing up prep for plasterers, making sure the electrical system is ready to be closed in behind plaster, finishing the parts of the heating, ventilating and air conditioning system and clearing out every tool and material that had been in there during construction. Again, with limited mobility, I had to hire help even to accomplish that!

However, added to my physical limitation, four recent events, that took place near the end of last month, took my "feet" completely out from under me. My healing process would have been a minor annoyance if it had not been paired with these four extremely disturbing events. Learning about he nine victims of the church shooting in South Carolina took my heart and bruised and battered it. Many of my readers know that I have little regard for most religious institutions, but the folks gathered for Bible study were trying to find their way just as we all are. Their lives ended because of an ignorant and misguided young man, bent on wreaking havoc in his community. These events, as heinous as they were, only made my heart grow sore and cold for there were other assaults and domestic terrorism that ramped up after that.

Seven "black" South Carolina churches have been burned in the weeks following the shooting and again, although I have strong feelings about the abuse of religion, everyone is entitled to their own myths as long as they do not harm others or destroy property. The soul crushingly stupid among us seem preoccupied with bringing on the Apocalypse. To them, it signals an end to the veil of tears that we must face here on Earth. Their short-sightedness circumscribes their reality so effectively that truth has no room in their hearts or minds. The racism and hatred that are seething just below the surface in our nation disgust and humiliate me. As I have mentioned before, I almost feel guilty because of their wantonly deceitful, demonic and desecrating associations with humanity itself. As a teacher, it confounds me that such vile ignorance can survive in our culture.

This brings me to one of the most heinous realizations that I have had over the past couple weeks. Racism is alive and well. That seems terrible enough, but nationalism, fascism, sexism, ageism and the stakes of the class war are equally on the rise. A cursory look a the band of retarded brothers that can collectively be known as the Rethuglican candidates for President of the United States is a sickening array of idiots, dolts and violent advocates for inhumanity. Between them, they do not share a single idea worthy of a term paper in high school.

Perhaps the tide is turning. Yesterday, I was speaking with a pathologist friend of mine who recounted the fact that they have been a Republican since the early 1980s and that the only candidate that she could vote for in good conscience is Bernie Sanders. This was the first event in the last two weeks that actually soothed my soul. Perhaps we are turning a corner. It is well for each of us to realize that the majority of people do not subscribe to the belief in hate, or share the vitriolic perspective of the haters. Even though the Teathuglicans can put up a couple dozen ingrates to run for office, not one has a shred of validity. In their competition for thew dollars that billionaires will throw them when they get nominated, they seem willing to say anything, as long as it stirs up the reeking cesspool of hate that inspires their beliefs.

On a more personal part of my recent experience, I had to work for the better part of a week on a "show" that paired vague X-tian beliefs with wanton greed and a "network" marketing organization known as Life Leadership Corporation. These folks deserve to be talked about, but after the preceding couple weeks, I was in no mood to listen to their anti-christian world view. If you have never been to a multi-level marketing conference, count yourself lucky. It is a mix of self-serving braggarts, insipid greed and power and control rhetoric. The attendees all paid to be told that if they did not succeed, they were not giving enough. I heard the admonition to re-invest "everything" into your business more than a dozen times and the leaders would drop consumerist bombs throughout their presentations. "I drive a Bentley", or "We just had to sell our home, because we are getting older and couldn't take care of our several hundred acres with over a mile long driveway and over a mile of river frontage." etc. Just remember, if you are a failure, it is your fault. We all made it to the top and we barely graduated high School, etc. Pairing religious beliefs with greed and self aggrandizement just put the icing on the cake. I was so blue by the end of last month that I couldn't even put my frustrations into words.

I am sure that I will include some of the events of the last half-moon in future writings, but deciphering the neural network of ideas associated with these things will take time and much introspection. Suffice it to say that I regret not writing, because I feel committed to my readers, however, I also realize that you may not have wanted to read what I had to say either.