Before I get misinterpreted, let me first make clear that I was raised by women in a man's world. What I say, and how it may be colored, has been shaped by two things. A cultural bias toward men, which once realized, led to the heartbreaking task of trying to change a misogynistic society that is hundreds of yeas old. This combined with an understanding and will to help others, especially the aged, women, children and those who are on the margins of society. this desire in me that nearly pathological but for the fact that I was raised to think like a woman. Coming to terms with our true nature requires that we understand the range of sexuality, mental competence and create ways to involve and nurture our entire being, not just the stereotypes that we may have ascribed to us.
Many nations have already taken great steps forward in this regard. It is not important for women to think like men to get ahead. In fact, those who do, and you know who you are, often hit a glass ceiling because they are eventually found to be doing so and that their contributions may as well be male, since they have to abandon their "softer side" to rise through the cut-throat stages of their professional development. I'm sure that worldwide, we can all see examples of women acting like men in the professional world all the time, but acting like the privileged sex can only get you so far. To succeed, we need to cultivate a new order that allows women to function in ways that are true to themselves. That, more than any single thing can turn the tide on many humanitarian issues, inform our understanding of most social strife and economic silliness and perhaps, more importantly, end war between nations and against nature. Learning to nurture comes from a different segment of society than the one that most of our "leaders" come from.
This begins early and is endemic to the language we use for all manner of interactions. Where there is no war, we inject it through language, thought and habit. In "America", we relish our sports metaphors and here too, we use war terminology to describe what have come to be core concepts within our political, economic and cultural world and these warlike terms poison how we understand everything from personal development to dating and from our vision of success to the ultimate goals that we set for ourselves and our children. Why is it that when someone screws something up, we call it a hack job? Well, don't you know, the clinical single bullet through heart and lungs is so much better.
It seems that each time we want to "mobilize" "resources", it is first necessary to declare war on something. In the U.S. of A., we have had wars on hunger, poverty, drugs, illiteracy, crime, etc. What we have lacked, every step of the way is a loving and compassionate approach to making sure that everyone has enough, including a place at the table. I could describe what I mean by "thinking like a woman", but how many of us have heard the results already? I recall the number of times that I have heard the words, "Put another cup of water in the soup.", it is no accident that they have never come from a man. Typically, these words are spoken when unexpected guests arrive, but the meaning is something that is more than just watering down the soup (as a man typically deciphers them). What the real meaning is relates more to the predisposition to make sure that the needs of others are met as well as our own.
Life is not as straight-forward as the male brain likes to think it is. Believe me, my brain is as strung out on testosterone as any male around, but luckily I had nearly fifteen years to think about these things before my body started to change. As much as most men want to think that the world is only about "security", food, sex and conquest (certainly not in that order) many examples prove otherwise. Even the lowest creature and all plants on the planet needs air (or in the case of a few bacteria at the bottom of the ocean, sulfur), water, secure shelter, food/fuel and fun. In my young adulthood, to keep honesty and truth in the mix, I used to refer to procreation or sex generally as "serious fun". In fact, there are only four true needs for organisms to flourish and these are: exchanging gasses, a place to rest safe from predators, food/water, and sex which allows the species to continue.
The problem that comes about through male brain dominance and female brain repression is that nurturing does not fit well into that paradigm. There seems to be a disconnect in men that forgets that neglect and abuse are not part of the hierarchy of needs. We actually raise better children if we nurture them and treat them well. Reams of paper have been squandered explaining and describing the existence and function of nurturing behaviors, not just in humans but in many creatures as well. Even a mother tree provides shelter, and stability for her seedlings. Many humans have convinced themselves that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I cannot count the number of times I have heard males say suck it up, play through the pain and/or it will build character. I am here to say, no, it does not.
Humanity demands that we think more like women. Native cultures that have survived in spite of the colonizing forces of male-dominated societies understand that the elders and children, as well as womyn growing babies eat first and are treated with deference, because without them we would not exist and as men, we would have no purpose. The men, in actuality, are the most expendable sex. If needed, a handful of lucky men could impregnate all receptive females and bring our species back from extinction. If we ever got down to the point of only having a few females, we would be in serious trouble. The age-old practice of raping the women who happen to be caught up in war torn areas has gone beyond the primitive urge to spread men's genetic information far and wide and become a highly charged rite of humiliation and subjugation. This psychology is given no quarter in the female brain.
There are more questions to ask beyond, "Can I Fuck it (how soon?), can I eat it (how soon?), is it a threat (how quickly can I eliminate it?)?" The male brain has little time or consideration for the subtleties that follow after that initial intercourse with our surroundings. Many men learn over time that these primary urges are easier to fulfill with the help and good favor of women, but sublimating thought and desire to appear civil are certainly not required for most men to achieve satisfaction.
Thinking like a woman requires deeper levels of thought. How might we make due with the soup we have, considering that the guests may well be hungry. In the female brain, there is refuge, with even room for the thoughts and consideration of others. This is not in opposition to or in reference to thinking like a man. Thinking like a woman is a completely different type and kind of thought, which stands alone, not needing to be driven so desperately by testosterone. Like truth and fiction, fiction needs constant propping up and truth stands alone. Please, wherever you are on the face of the Earth, discuss openly the three words, How might we? How soon has not ever worked. When we forego consideration of others and the consequences of so doing, we miss the true point of being human. Estrogen and progesterone feminize the adolescent women to think with different parts of the brain, to problem solve and deliberate in extraordinarily and often startlingly different ways.
Some of the most enduring legacies we have carried as a burden come from the "get it now" philosophy that develops from having gonads. Ask any woman, they will tell you the reason that the XY chromosome pair exist at all is because women (notoriously XX) are constantly asking "Why?" I would like to thank my wonderful wife for her wisdom in this matter. When my thinking goes awry, she often leads me back to sense and sensibility, with the good of all at our center. In will and deed, we must see the entire human family and the ecosphere on which we depend as community, family and honor them as us. After all, we are all one.
Many nations have already taken great steps forward in this regard. It is not important for women to think like men to get ahead. In fact, those who do, and you know who you are, often hit a glass ceiling because they are eventually found to be doing so and that their contributions may as well be male, since they have to abandon their "softer side" to rise through the cut-throat stages of their professional development. I'm sure that worldwide, we can all see examples of women acting like men in the professional world all the time, but acting like the privileged sex can only get you so far. To succeed, we need to cultivate a new order that allows women to function in ways that are true to themselves. That, more than any single thing can turn the tide on many humanitarian issues, inform our understanding of most social strife and economic silliness and perhaps, more importantly, end war between nations and against nature. Learning to nurture comes from a different segment of society than the one that most of our "leaders" come from.
This begins early and is endemic to the language we use for all manner of interactions. Where there is no war, we inject it through language, thought and habit. In "America", we relish our sports metaphors and here too, we use war terminology to describe what have come to be core concepts within our political, economic and cultural world and these warlike terms poison how we understand everything from personal development to dating and from our vision of success to the ultimate goals that we set for ourselves and our children. Why is it that when someone screws something up, we call it a hack job? Well, don't you know, the clinical single bullet through heart and lungs is so much better.
It seems that each time we want to "mobilize" "resources", it is first necessary to declare war on something. In the U.S. of A., we have had wars on hunger, poverty, drugs, illiteracy, crime, etc. What we have lacked, every step of the way is a loving and compassionate approach to making sure that everyone has enough, including a place at the table. I could describe what I mean by "thinking like a woman", but how many of us have heard the results already? I recall the number of times that I have heard the words, "Put another cup of water in the soup.", it is no accident that they have never come from a man. Typically, these words are spoken when unexpected guests arrive, but the meaning is something that is more than just watering down the soup (as a man typically deciphers them). What the real meaning is relates more to the predisposition to make sure that the needs of others are met as well as our own.
Life is not as straight-forward as the male brain likes to think it is. Believe me, my brain is as strung out on testosterone as any male around, but luckily I had nearly fifteen years to think about these things before my body started to change. As much as most men want to think that the world is only about "security", food, sex and conquest (certainly not in that order) many examples prove otherwise. Even the lowest creature and all plants on the planet needs air (or in the case of a few bacteria at the bottom of the ocean, sulfur), water, secure shelter, food/fuel and fun. In my young adulthood, to keep honesty and truth in the mix, I used to refer to procreation or sex generally as "serious fun". In fact, there are only four true needs for organisms to flourish and these are: exchanging gasses, a place to rest safe from predators, food/water, and sex which allows the species to continue.
The problem that comes about through male brain dominance and female brain repression is that nurturing does not fit well into that paradigm. There seems to be a disconnect in men that forgets that neglect and abuse are not part of the hierarchy of needs. We actually raise better children if we nurture them and treat them well. Reams of paper have been squandered explaining and describing the existence and function of nurturing behaviors, not just in humans but in many creatures as well. Even a mother tree provides shelter, and stability for her seedlings. Many humans have convinced themselves that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I cannot count the number of times I have heard males say suck it up, play through the pain and/or it will build character. I am here to say, no, it does not.
Humanity demands that we think more like women. Native cultures that have survived in spite of the colonizing forces of male-dominated societies understand that the elders and children, as well as womyn growing babies eat first and are treated with deference, because without them we would not exist and as men, we would have no purpose. The men, in actuality, are the most expendable sex. If needed, a handful of lucky men could impregnate all receptive females and bring our species back from extinction. If we ever got down to the point of only having a few females, we would be in serious trouble. The age-old practice of raping the women who happen to be caught up in war torn areas has gone beyond the primitive urge to spread men's genetic information far and wide and become a highly charged rite of humiliation and subjugation. This psychology is given no quarter in the female brain.
There are more questions to ask beyond, "Can I Fuck it (how soon?), can I eat it (how soon?), is it a threat (how quickly can I eliminate it?)?" The male brain has little time or consideration for the subtleties that follow after that initial intercourse with our surroundings. Many men learn over time that these primary urges are easier to fulfill with the help and good favor of women, but sublimating thought and desire to appear civil are certainly not required for most men to achieve satisfaction.
Thinking like a woman requires deeper levels of thought. How might we make due with the soup we have, considering that the guests may well be hungry. In the female brain, there is refuge, with even room for the thoughts and consideration of others. This is not in opposition to or in reference to thinking like a man. Thinking like a woman is a completely different type and kind of thought, which stands alone, not needing to be driven so desperately by testosterone. Like truth and fiction, fiction needs constant propping up and truth stands alone. Please, wherever you are on the face of the Earth, discuss openly the three words, How might we? How soon has not ever worked. When we forego consideration of others and the consequences of so doing, we miss the true point of being human. Estrogen and progesterone feminize the adolescent women to think with different parts of the brain, to problem solve and deliberate in extraordinarily and often startlingly different ways.
Some of the most enduring legacies we have carried as a burden come from the "get it now" philosophy that develops from having gonads. Ask any woman, they will tell you the reason that the XY chromosome pair exist at all is because women (notoriously XX) are constantly asking "Why?" I would like to thank my wonderful wife for her wisdom in this matter. When my thinking goes awry, she often leads me back to sense and sensibility, with the good of all at our center. In will and deed, we must see the entire human family and the ecosphere on which we depend as community, family and honor them as us. After all, we are all one.
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