Fidelity

In our culture, fidelity is often described, defined and understood in relation to marriage or pairs of people, primarily in a sexual sense. Being true to one's spouse or honoring the marriage pact are frequently the way we define fidelity. Frequently we are encouraged to seek and find a committed relationship that is exclusive to one partner and the result of adhering to this monogamy is called fidelity. However, the word has many more meanings and is certainly more powerful than a mere sexual context can provide. As a child, I grew up amongst audiophiles, people obsessed with fidelity in the realm of sound. If you have ever wondered why music sounds so different in a live room than it does when it must be channeled through speakers, you will begin to understand a different meaning of the word fidelity. In this case, true reproduction, or integrity of sound is the goal and fidelity is the closest approximation possible of the live room experience.

This sort of fidelity is, of course, impossible, but for the moment let us not devolve into arguments based on idiosyncratic difficulties in audio reproduction. The physics of sound is not my subject. This fidelity that is represented as a noble virtue is based on staying true to your beliefs, honoring your associations and committing to larger principles that you will never forsake. Although it is impossible to exactly duplicate the acoustics of a concert hall, or the timbre of the oboe on a recording, the fidelity we can exhibit and exemplify by our actions is unmistakable and also cannot be captured easily, much like the sounds and vibrations of the orchestra, you have to experience it to understand the difference between the actual experience and the "recording".

I learned a great deal about fidelity from two different experiences; one was hearing back from a friend, let us call him Tom, about something another friend, let us call him Jim, said in  passing. Conversation between Jim and a third friend had come around to friends of friends, meaningful work and eventually specifically to me. Jim said, to a third fellow who was seeking some sort of meaningful work, and Jim said specifically, about me, "Whatever Tony gets involved in will be a success." We were both in the throws of starting new businesses at the time and for me it was a great honor to be included in such conversation. He was sharing elements of my process that were true and accurate, but I felt that even in this, the reason for my success is bigger than a "job" at which we "work". Even though he exhibited fidelity to me as a  friend and by association the efforts to which I commit myself, he did it as best he could, and even sub-optimal fidelity gets some of the information across. Perhaps he was thinking of my tree planting efforts that take place under the auspices of ECO-Tours of Wisconsin Inc. Possibly, his thoughts were about my rehabilitation of old homes, which have consistently reduced energy consumption of those houses by over 50%, the fact that I have saved condemned homes from demolition, or that I have always sought to provide the highest quality dwellings for people of modest means. He may have even been making an allusion to my continued efforts as an organic gardener and educator, or my bicycle ride around the five Great Lakes, I'm not sure, but his commitment to sharing the messages of people he knows who are doing good for the community as well as themselves can easily be seen as fidelity, not in the hopes of reproducing my efforts, but describing them.

Fidelity is being true not just to a person or a performance, but to ideas and actions. I hesitate to use the term moral code, but if we delve into the topic of noble virtues, many will spin it as a morality tale. I perceive it as co-evolutionary to share these ideas. Not in any way to proselytize, but to encourage each person reading this to define "morality" in the best way they can manage/fathom. Rather than tell others what or how to think, or worse, how to act in order to "appear" moral, deeper messages and meanings require more subtle realizations to accomplish and understand.  I learned more about fidelity when I was in a class about anger management than many would think possible. Fidelity can often be based on larger issues, things such as what we believe to be true, commitments that we have made and principles, elements and ideals which we feel committed to. I need to slip back to the common view of fidelity (ie:sexual) for the sake of this message, or particular meaning. We were told in anger management class, that there are only two reasons for jealousy, the fear of infidelity, the first is that we do not feel enough self worth or integrity to think we deserve fidelity from our spouse; the second, is that we may feel that we are capable of cheating on our spouse and that must mean our significant other is not only capable of cheating as well, but may be predisposed to cheat. This dynamic is at work in far more relationships than I care to admit. Being true, to people, ideas, principles and elements of your craft, your art, your vocation, these all represent fidelity. Fearing the loss of fidelity, may be "natural", but when you think about what happens every time you pass someone on a two lane road...you actually come within arm's length of a head-on collision...that may be natural too, but to obsess on or believe these abstract possibilities are real is not being in touch with many other facts which include but are not limited to the skills, perceptions, nature and true abilities of the others involved. In fact, it is nothing more than a figment of your imagination, not really worth being accurate about representing. Having fidelity to imagined realities is perhaps one of the most dangerous things we can do. If you focus too much energy on these things, it will usurp your vitality and ruin your ability to exist in the world.

Acting in a committed fashion according to larger processes and pictures is crucial to creating positive and long-lasting change, it is required, no essential, to exhibit each, perhaps any, of the noble virtues, this commitment, fidelity,  is essential if we are to create a lasting legacy and build, not only our character, but instill character in others. A good and very well-educated friend once described someone as being like a fart in a mitten. This fellow being described exhibited fidelity to nothing. As malleable as mercury, he took the path of least resistance and could be held to not one single solitary belief. His countenance was without any sort of conviction, lacking even the slightest commitment to anything. Like a sand grain on the beach, he was tossed and turned by wind and surf, as invisible as Cellophane Man from the movie/play Chicago (Beware this link will take you to another site)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKHzTtr_lNk
Like a fart in a mitten, you could tell he was there, but only by the smell. Guaranteed to leak out, but no telling where. The person exhibiting fidelity is the near opposite of this. Again, I must apologize for describing each of the noble virtues by their opposites, it is just so difficult to say exactly what each is. That also why I ask my readers to do so much of the work of defining these terms as a process, slowly developing an affinity for each and seeing how these traits and aspects combine and interlock to create a countenance, a personality that allows for constant creation and the ability to act and reflect at once on how we can each better hone our actions and personalities to serve others, to build community, to ensconce ideals in our culture and to educate others to the critical nature of these tasks. When I learned the term, I am because you are...ubuntu...it qualitatively improved my life and I have tried to pass that enrichment on to others by acting in accord with the meaning of it. One word can change you, if you let yourself listen and remain in a state of fidelity toward it.

As I continue to repeat, we must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately.